Shall we sit

Picture credit: Lakshmi Ambady

“If you are alone and getting bored, obviously you are in bad company. By the end of the day, if you are feeling miserable, you are in super-bad company. The fundamental question is-What is my problem? I have all my limbs intact, I can see, I can hear, I can smell, I can taste, what’s my problem? But that is the big problem. That, you will know only if you sit alone. When there are people around you, you find excuses. If you are with someone, it is easy to say-This guy is horrible, so I’m irritated. She’s not okay, that’s not okay, this is not okay. But when you sit alone and the problem still exists, now you know what the source of the problem is.” -Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.

What happens when you stop treating your body as something to fix, push through or outrun and simply let yourself arrive inside it? Most of us are trained to live from the neck up.  We live in our heads and minds, planning, analysing, judging, narrating while our body does its quiet work below. And we are trained from early on to leave our bodies too. We leave when things feel too much, too much sensation, too much stillness, too much fear, too much anger, too much grief. We take immense pride in being able to maybe manage our bodies, schedule it, fuel it but we seldom just sit with it.

We treat the body as a vehicle for the mind rather than something to inhabit. Discomfort, restlessness or uncomfortable sensations can feel like problems to solve rather than things to simply notice and sense where they really reside in the body.  And frankly if you get into the habit of doing so you will see that there is something quietly radical about learning to simply sit with your own physicality.

Not to fix it.

Not to escape it.

Not to override it with productivity, distraction or constant thinking.

JUST TO SIT WITH IT.

At first, this sounds so easy. But if you really try, you will notice how quickly the mind wants to move away. Because the body is just not flesh and bone. It is memory, sensation, unfinished emotion, trauma and truth. And it is waiting for you. To acknowledge it. Most of us are fearful to sit still, not because stillness isn’t an unbearable sensation but because its unfamiliar. We have never given ourselves the chance to stay long enough to find out what’s going on in our jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, torso, back, pelvis, thigs, knees and feet.

Somatically the body is not a passive structure. It is a living, sensing network. The fascia which is a connective tissue wraps everything. It holds patterns of tension shaped by your life. Every time you held back anger, suppressed tears or stayed in a place or situation that felt unsafe, your body adapted to it. And when you sit with the body, you are gently telling your system that it is safe to feel again. Over time the body will soften, unwind and release what is has been holding. This happens not by force but through presence.

Scientifically this has everything to do with your nervous system. All your daily experience is governed by the ANS- Autonomic Nervous System, a network of nerves that handles all of your unconscious tasks like heartbeat and breathing. It always stays active even when you are asleep. It also balances the state between the sympathetic (fight / flight) and parasympathetic (rest/ digest). Most people live in a constant state of activation without even realizing it. When you sit with the body, with awareness and slow breath, the body shifts towards regulation. Heart rate slows, digestion improves and muscles relax. When the body finally feels safe it may release what is has been holding back. And it can feel like heat, tingling, or even anxiety. If you learn to sit with these sensations, you will realize the system can reorganize itself. This is body intelligence at work.

Psychologically avoiding the body is avoiding emotion. The mind is excellent at creating stories, explanations and distractions. But emotions do not live in thoughts. They live in sensations.

Grief might feel like heaviness in the chest.

Fear might feel like tightness in the belly.

Shame might feel like collapse in the spine.

Anger might feel like teeth grinding.

When you sit with your body, you are choosing felt sense over analysis. And that is when real processing happens. Over time something shifts as you stop being afraid of your inner world. You build what psychologists call – emotional capacity which is the ability of the body to stay present with some discomfort without the need to escape it. In Somatic Experiencing®, it’s called resilience of the nervous system. The human body simply wants to be validated, to be looked at, to be seen. But all our lives we live by dictates and nuances of our minds, and we miss the body completely. The human body also craves expansion. And expansion and resilience go hand in hand.

Spiritually there is an even deeper meaning. Yogic traditions and practices, several indigenous communities world over do not treat the body as an obstacle but as a doorway because the body is the place where life is happening. Not the mind. It is where breath moves, where sensation arises and where awareness can anchor itself. When you sit with body long enough, something subtle changes. A quiet witness emerges within you. In yogic language this is described as the beginning of recognizing a glimpse of consciousness. A way to detach yourself without getting lost. The body then becomes a bridge, not necessarily a vehicle to transcend but something to listen through. But here comes a difficult part. When you stay with the body long enough, you meet everything you have been avoiding. But if you stay and learn to sit consistently, gently without force, you will relate to your own body like a living companion.

Try this short exercise-

Sit.

Feel your breath.

Notice how the air goes into the nostrils and out through the nostrils / mouth.

Simply watch.

Notice what’s present without the need to change your breath.

Do this for a few minutes. Let your mind do what it always does but you sit and stay with your breath.

Even if you feel uncomfortable. Stay present.

Stay present with the breath in your body. And then…

Notice the change in your breath.

Does it soften? Does it shift?

Simply acknowledge the shift and thank your breath.

That’s it.

What you are doing here is sitting with your body. Its that simple. Your body does not need you to become a hard-core devoted meditator or observer. It just needs you to show up, the same way you would for anything or anyone you loved. With the same patience, compassion, sincerity and with attention. Without needing it to be different than it is. Because YOU live here. In this body. In your body. You have always lived here. Come home.

Life is a mystery; everyone must stand alone

I hear you call my name and it feels like home

When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer

I’m down on my knees, I want to take you there

In the midnight hour I can feel your power

Just like a prayer, you know I’ll take you there

I hear your voice – it’s like an angel sighing

I have no choice, I hear your voice, feels like flying

I close my eyes, oh God, I think I’m falling

Out of the sky – I close my eyes, heaven, help me

Like a child, you whisper softly to me

You’re in control just like a child, now I’m dancing

It’s like a dream – no end and no beginning

You’re here with me, it’s like a dream, let the choir sing

Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there

Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery

Just like a dream, you are not what you seem

Just like a prayer, no choice

Your voice can take me there

“Like a prayer”- Madonna. Released in 1989.