Addicted to Stress

Picture Credit: Lakshmi Ambady

We usually think of addiction as something external like alcohol, nicotine, sugar, screen or drugs. But the most ignored addiction is the one happening inside our bodies. Our nervous system can become addicted to its own stress chemistry. Stress hormones create uncontrollable vigour, hypervigilance and intense alertness to threat. In time the body mistakes this for a sense of aliveness. For someone who has lived in prolonged survival states like fight, flight and freeze, the nervous system starts to expect this chemistry in the body as natural and typical. It is normalized by the brain. And after a while calmness on the other hand can feel alien and unsafe, even threatening.

But why does the body cling to stress? Why are we so addicted to our miseries?

Our nervous systems are excellent at adaptation. Live in stress long enough and it starts to feel like home. Known is preferred over the unknown because our body trusts only what it recognizes and it’s used to. We adopt stress to be part of our self. A body that has lived through enough chaos learns to trust the predictable cycle of tension. Adrenaline creates intensity- a racing heart, gasping breath, goose bumps and a sharp focus. It feels like a burst of energy, as if the brain needs a proof of the body’s existence. Without it, stillness may feel like emptiness. Norepinephrine floods muscles with energy and lactic acid to keep the body braced for the next threat even though there might be none. When this cycle becomes chronic, the body forgets how to live without it. The nervous system gets accustomed around being vigilant. Being on guard all the time is normal. To relax may feel like losing oneself for when the body does get a period of rest, it may feel hollow. And so, the body again reaches for the fire of addiction. Addiction for conflict. For being busy. For noise. For being angry. For control. For being fearful. For negative thought patterns. For self- hate. Addiction to stress becomes the way of the life of the body. Without this stimulation the body feels useless, incomplete and angered.

And here lies a paradox, doesn’t it?  The very thing that exhausts us is what the body believes it needs to survive. Stress is mistaken for life itself. That is why healing must be gradual. A nervous system addicted to chaos cannot be forced into calm. It needs an invitation. Safety must be tasted in small sips. A single slow deep breath. A softening of the shoulders. An unfreezing of the feet and limbs. A pause.  The uncurling of a fist. The softening of the jaw. These micro movements allow the body to learn that stillness means safety.

Just as the body knows how to flood itself with cortisol and other stress hormones, it also knows how to release oxytocin, endorphins and serotonin. Somatic Experiencing® is a path to awaken this quieter chemistry. It is a subtle path to healing. Learning to stay long enough with these soft whispers of Somatic Experiencing® is a re-education of the body that once held the false belief that only stress, and agitation could keep it alive. In time, the nervous system learns to remember that being truly alive is not the same as urgency or being vigilant. Stillness too has a pulse. And a rhythm that is tuned with nature.

Healing is not a leap into peace. It is a slow apprenticeship with learning to being still. A handshake with curiosity for the sensations in our bodies. Regulation is learnt gradually. In Somatic Experiencing®, the body is taught how to titrate and taste safety in small doses. And only then will the body relax. Only then will the body change its addiction from stress to less. Only then. Because as we know, the body remembers what the mind forgets! Doesn’t it?